Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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