I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
