I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
