I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
