You're my little dorito
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
