All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
