Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
