She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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