No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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