it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Let's get the cat blown out
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
