After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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