I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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