He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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