My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
