ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
