It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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