oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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