Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
