I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
