Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
