I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
