he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So much rum. So many feels.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
