I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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