Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
