is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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