No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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