Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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