Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
