can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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