I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
