My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I don't think brook has ever known best
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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