We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
