Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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