Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
