Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
