Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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