do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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