well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
