ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
