nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
