You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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