You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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