its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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