So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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