hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There r osticjed everywhere
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
