So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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