so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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