Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
hell yes lets make some ravioli
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
