I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
