the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
