I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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