Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
